It's been awhile

   Ya like I just said, it's really been awhile. Well blogging is like some kind of a way for me to express my feelings instead of writing it on facebook coz ya, social media.........thing can pretty much gets out of hand at times. Some of my buddies told me that I look pretty much unprofessional if I choose to rant, swearing or even complementing someone or something on facebook. Can't say I disagree though. But hey, thanks for the piece of "advice" there you hypocrite. Why am I even calling them a hypocrite? Coz the next thing you know, they....well no all of em but still they just swear at somebody else on facebook after what they told me about not swearing at people on facebook. There you go.....social media, it spread faster than light you know? Blogging? Nowadays people would go like blogging is like so yesterday. Hmmm, well fuck that shit. Even though I know nobody  gonna read my blog anyway. Friends? they moved on from blogging & damn. So here I am, still....well....blogging.

   For the past few years, I've been suppressing my feeling of joy, hatred, sadness & anger to myself. I hardly wrote much of my feelings on facebook & today I'm pretty much kinda bored with maybe with some sadness in me. Life is pretty much a bitch to me for the pass few years, the first introduction to me after I wrote the previous post back then during 2011 is.......welcome to reality, say hi to the hard truth in life or whatever you call it. It ain't sugars & rainbows no more, it's about how unfair life can be. Basically I pretty much couldn't accept that fact until recently, life is unfair & you just gotta deal with it. I gotta deal with it. So once I've accepted it I feel a bit better. When life gives you lemon, you make lemonade right?

   Looking back to the things I've done, I feel kinda sorry for myself. If you ask me why, I'd said I tried to be someone else. Someone whose not me, someone else that I can never be, someone who I thought I can be but that ain't gonna happen, to make it short. It's just not me. I made myself look like a douche-bag for some reason. Being to honest & straight forward can get you into deep shit & I pretty much got myself into one about two years ago. But hey, let bygones be bygones.  So life is pretty much quite peaceful for the past few months. Damn peaceful & dull. Previously it was rough but it's quite happening. Now it's peaceful & dull. Gosh I suppose I should stop repeating it. But again, it's either this or that. Everything is quite.....predictable which is why it's dull.....So I guess I should sit down & just follow the flow then......

   I'm not too sure when I'm gonna write again but I doubt that neither of you is interested in my lame story but I just gotta feeling that I might write something again for the next few weeks coz it's the only place left for me to express myself. Ciao 

2011 is coming to an end

It's been quite awhile since I've last posted anything on my blog. Didn't expect myself to appear on my own blog again hehe. 2010? Overall it's kinda been a good year for me, doing things what a college student does & chilling out like I always do. Trying not to be a jerk, haha must be kicking myself for some reason. 2011? It started off quite fine actually until I decided to call my otaku life a quits, that is the part where my life starts to get "interesting". Well, in a way. It's still interesting, depends how you put it though. Climax? Suspend? Turn around? U-turn? uhh I will say it's all in one. Experience on trying to be normal while am not? Ya, let me tell you. It sucks trying to be someone who is isn't you. All the time, I ain't the kind of guy who is really into horoscope prediction or any shit like those but I hate to admit it. After reading some of those stuff, it kinda make sense on how a person is though. It may not be 100% accurate but it's like almost a bull's eye if you ask me. There is a line from those article that has been bothering me recently, am a leo just so you know. Geez, it wrote something like erm. I tend to give a lot & gain very little. Looking back on those things I've done yea, seems like it quite true. It might be kinda subjective though but at times some parties tell me that you must do something with your heart, sincerely. Not to expect any return. That might be true but at times, some might tells you to set a target or goal & you must do what it takes to achieve that something. Funny eh? The world is changing & at times, I feel like I can't keep up. Things has been happening for the past few months & I'm like oh damn why me? Man I hate this shit! What the fuck! Ya I know, the F word will surely pops out. Duh typical. Shit happens & I'm still too slow to feel what kind of shit is thrown at my or perhaps I'm still living in my own world? Beats me. For all these year, for what I've been giving. Not to say that I want everybody to notice but then, at times I ask myself the same old question. Does anyone even realize? I guess it's a big no. The world it's too big for people to realize eh? Maybe I'm just a clown or maybe I'm living in the land far far away that I though I'm a hero saving a damsel in distress? Some imagination I have here. There is a chinese saying says that life is like a drama or movie. Perhaps that's true. If a girl gets so emotional on a tiny matter. people usually think "man, she is such a drama queen". Maybe I'm doing the same shit? I guess so, by showing my own frustration on this freaking blog. I'm still struggling whether to really explain my frustration in details or not. If I do, indirectly I'm like saying " guys, I have been deceiving you guys for so long & I have a bloody hell of a confession to make" Makes me sound like I a criminal or something. Maybe for those who read my blog must be thinking " Shit, is this guy trying to beat around the bush or something? Why can't he just fucking go straight to the point?" Yea, at times I wonder why I do shit like this but anyway I wrap up my blog for today.